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| FASHOLA |
I doff my hat today for the Lagos
State Governor, Raji Fashola. He is my number one outstanding governor in the
Federal Republic of Nigeria.
He is followed by the Imo State Governor,
Rochas Okorocha and dogging closely on the heels of Okorocha, is Ibikunle
Amosun.
In fact, I wouldn’t mind being made
Fashola’s campaign manager for third term.
I was in Ikeja some weeks ago and
some hundreds of commercial bike riders, if not thousands, chanting a support
rally for Fashola’s third term. Praying and begging him to come back.
Naturally, some bad belly people
called the support rally, a protest, but you and I know people will always be
envious of a governor who provided jobs for people, who for long had been
living on riding motorbikes.
Governor Fashola thanks. Now, these
commercial bike riders will be able to send their kids to school, pay school
fees, and buy them nice clothes, shoes. And let’s not forget about the most
important gain for these men: they’ll be able to put three square meals on the
table for their family.
Who cares whether PHCN bills are
paid…there’re candles for God sake! Go to Agege, you can buy oju ti NEPA there.
Ha! Ha! Governor Fashola, be careful
ooo. There’re too many belly people in your state. But I, Juliana Francis, I’m
your loyal, honest, straight forward and transparent servant.
Kabiyesi o! I’m on the ground. My
stomach is embracing the ground…like the agama lizard, which does not show when
it has stomach aches.
The wisdom in this issue of
commercial bike riders is profound.
I hear the lies people spread about
town in Lagos and I slapped them.
Yes, I slapped one stupid idiot in a
commercial bus for saying you’re practicing autocracy! Can you just imagine that?
I’ll never! Phew!
Some Lagosians are so ungrateful;
after all you’ve done for them!
Was it not for your good judgment
that there are so many commuters on the roads and no transportations for them?
How many governors had the good sense
to create that kind of agony for his citizens?
How many governors cared that
commuters are paying triple of their fares now, even though there’s no salary
increment? Who gives a shit whether commuters get home by midnight because of
insufficient buses on the roads? If it bothers the commuters so much, let them
trek or buy their own cars ojare!
If they have cars, like your good
self does, will they have to spend so much of their salaries on transport
fare…will they have to wait and sometimes trek under the scorching sun to manage
money in their pockets?
And now, many of these yeye commuters
have started trudging to the BRT parks, creating a large number of passengers:
a number that the available, working buses can not handle.
And still some fools insisted that
you ought to have made an alternative arrangement for the commercial bike
riders, before you unleashed your goodwill on them.
Can you imagine such trash talks! Are
you their fathers? Are they hard of hearing? Didn’t they hear that they should
leave the state if they can’t afford to live in it any longer?
The nerve!
Don’t even bother to worry yourself
about robberies increasing because of these blesses you graciously bestowed on Okada men.
How on earth can they ever turn to
robberies to survive after what you done for them? They’ll never!
And if they do have the effrontery
and brazenness to take to robbery, let them attack and rob only politicians in
Jesus name!
Amen!
Ha! Your Excellency, you’re not
saying amen!
I say let robbers rob and attack only
politicians…
Kabiyesi o! I greet you.
You’re the best. I call for your
third term.
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| OKOROCHA |
Your counterpart in Imo, State,
Okorocha did well…he spent the good year training and turning his
commissioners, most of them from opposition parties, into heavy weight boxing
champions.
Soon, I’m sure we’ll get politicians
from Imo axis, who will go and represent Nigeria in the world heavyweight
boxing champion.
We’ll win! Okorocha is a good coach.
Any day, anytime, Amosun is my guy!
Come bros Amosun, oya chop knuckle…chop knuckle…
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| AMOSUN |
He spent the better part of the year,
demolishing everything and anything demolishes able. He demolished graves,
demolished dead bodies, demolished trees, demolished kioks, demolished…what
else?
And if that was not enough, he spent
time dealing with old foes…cutting them down to sizes…displaying his power of
being a governor.
Na you biko!
Fight on sir…demolish more…don’t
worry about the roads; especially those at Agbado…the roads are perfect.
The Okada riders over there, the
residents, motorists are just complaining because they love to listen to their
silly voices. Don’t mind them o!
If you’re offered an award as the
best governor for demolition, please accept it. You deserve it. Some people might
want to reap where they did not sow. They
might want to steal the title… after all the work you’ve done…
Ha! We no go gree o!
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