Friday, May 3, 2013

How one man spent 40 years searching for his best friend after they lost touch - and proposed when he finally found her

In a story that parallels the romantic escapades of Before Sunset, with Ethan Hawk and Julie Delpy, a couple who met in 1971, but lost touch a year after meeting despite their deep friendship, have finally found each other again - four decades later.
Portugal-born João Crisóstomo met Vilma Kracun through his then-fiancée in London. She was a vibrant au pair and he was waiting tables, and the pair shared a profound connection. But when Mr Crisóstomo moved to New York with his wife, they lost touch.
For 40 years, Mr Crisóstomo, 68, tried to find her — first searching with his wife, and then on his own after he divorced in 1997. Finally, on Valentines Day in 2011, the stars aligned; he found Ms Kracun, 66, living in Paris, and proposed just days later.
Love at second sight: Portugal-born João Crisóstomo met Vilma Kracun in London, but when he moved to New York, they lost touch; 40 years later the pair married and vowed never to lose each other again
Love at second sight: Portugal-born João Crisóstomo met Vilma Kracun in London, but when he moved to New York, they lost touch; 40 years later the pair married and vowed never to lose each other again
At last, the pair said 'I do' in April - with Mr Crisóstomo vowing he would never let her disappear again.

As a 26-year-old, Mr Crisóstomo, now a butler to members of New York society, joylessly welcomed Ms Kracun into his London social circle of expatriates.
He told the New York Times: 'I found her very attractive, but above all she was a wonderful young lady.
'She radiated joy, and it was a pleasure to be next to her. At the time, I could see she was a good human being and that this was a relationship I would like to nurture. But it was only that — a friendship.'
But a year after their friendship first blossomed, Mr Crisóstomo, by then married, left for Brazil with his wife and eventually wound up in New York.
'If we had not known each other before, one could call it love at first sight'
Ms Kracun actually took over his London apartment and lived with his sister, but the pair eventually lost touch.
Mr Crisóstomo and his wife wrote to her, but the letter was returned to its senders. 'My wife said: "Where is Vilma? She is my best friend. We have to find her."'
'Friendships are treasures,' Mr Crisóstomo said. 'I’m very choosy about my friends, but when I decide to be friends with somebody, I keep in touch with them for the next 30 or 40 years. For me, losing a friend is always traumatic.'
He started his search 'by asking common friends and sometimes even strangers for any possible clue of her whereabouts,' he said.
Needle in a haystack: For 40 years, Mr Crisóstomo, 68, tried to find Ms Kracun. Finally, on Valentines Day in 2011, the stars aligned; he found Ms Kracun, 66, living in Paris, and proposed just days later
Needle in a haystack: For 40 years, Mr Crisóstomo, 68, tried to find Ms Kracun. Finally, on Valentines Day in 2011, the stars aligned; he found Ms Kracun, 66, living in Paris, and proposed just days later

Happily ever after: At last, the pair said 'I do' on April 20 in New York's Upper West Side - with Mr Crisóstomo vowing he would never let her disappear again
Happily ever after: At last, the pair said 'I do' on April 20 in New York's Upper West Side - with Mr Crisóstomo vowing he would never let her disappear again
When a friend from Portugal became the ambassador to Yugoslavia, Mr Crisóstomo asked him to look for her, with no luck.
During the mid-1970s in New York, where Mr Crisóstomo was managing the household of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, he continued his search into the Eighties and Nineties, while working for top bank executives.
He signed up for Facebook in 2009, making only two status posts. His first, in 2010, said: 'To all my Facebook friends: in order to contact me directly, please use my e-mail or my phone number. I’m not good with these new technologies ...'
But on Valentine’s Day 2011, Mr Crisóstomo received a call from his former sister-in-law, who was living in Toronto. She and her daughter had discovered Ms Kracun on Facebook.

'I can hardly describe the joy I felt,' exclaimed Mr Crisóstomo, who said it never occurred to him to look online because he is not computer savvy.

It turned out that Ms Kracun had moved to Paris in 1979, where she married and worked as a nurse. 'He was looking for me in Yugoslavia, but I had already moved [to Paris],' she said.
Now widowed, Ms Kracun said she 'was really very excited' when Mr Crisóstomo's former sister-in-law contacted her on Facebook.
Mr Crisóstomo flew to Paris that September. He said: 'Going to Paris to meet this dear friend that I had lost and missed for 40 years was the only thing that I could think of, and so I did.'
I do: After spending 18 months preparing for her retirement, Ms Kracun Skyped Mr Crisóstomo daily, before moving to New York in February, and in April they finally said their wedding vows in front of 120 guests
I do: After spending 18 months preparing for her retirement, Ms Kracun Skyped Mr Crisóstomo daily, before moving to New York in February, and in April they finally said their wedding vows in front of 120 guests
The pair found themselves together for the first time since their twenties. 'When he hugged me, I think my heart was in my feet,' she recalled.
'Perhaps we were looking at each other through the eyes of youth, but I felt something already that I can’t explain.'
Mr Crisóstomo added: 'If we had not known each other before, one could call it love at first sight.
'Less than two hours after we met again, I found out that she was still the same Vilma that I had known in London. I wanted to make sure she would not disappear again from my life.
After a trip to visit his niece four hours outside of Paris, he asked her to move back to America with him, and then asked her to marry him.

Ms Kracun, who had never thought about marrying again, 'didn’t say yes at once,' she said, mostly out of fear.
'It seemed absolutely too quick. But his whole being is so nice and so wonderful. We have the same nature, which is why we understand each other so well.'
His daughter, Cristina Crisóstomo, said her father's impulsiveness is one of his most endearing qualities.  'They deserve each other,' she said. 'He is all goodness.'
After spending the next 18 months in Paris preparing for her retirement, Ms Kracun Skyped Mr Crisóstomo daily, and the pair took sporadic vacations together. Ms Kracun then moved to New York in February, and on April 20 they said their wedding vows in front of 120 guests.

DAILYMAIL

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