'I couldn't bear the thought of living any more': Archbishop of Canterbury's daughter reveals how depression drove her to the brink of suicide after split with boyfriend

Enlarge  

Mental illness: Katharine Welby, pictured with her father, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has revealed how depression drove her to the brink of suicide

The Archbishop of Canterbury’s daughter has revealed how depression drove her to the brink of suicide last year after her boyfriend broke up with her.
Katharine Welby, who has previously spoken of her bouts of depression, said: ‘I got to the point where I just couldn’t bear the thought of living any more.’
The 26-year-old also admitted she couldn’t stop crying when the news broke of her father the Most Reverend Justin Welby’s appointment – not because she wasn’t happy for him, but because she was ‘overwhelmed’ as a result of her illness.
Miss Welby said she was first diagnosed with depression after her first year reading theology at Manchester University.
A combination of not being able to work and feeling miserable led her to the doctors but she did not seek further help.
Her depression came back at the end of her degree and then surged at the beginning of last year, with what she called ‘catastrophic’ results.
She said: ‘I did not like being me. I hated it. I was exhausted by it. I wanted to be someone else. Or nowhere else.’
When asked if she was suicidal, she said: ‘Not quite. That came in April. My boyfriend broke up with me. That was the final straw.
‘I didn’t have the space I needed in my head to grieve for this relationship. My head was already full of things that were hurting.’

By last summer Miss Welby, whose father was enthroned as Archbishop in March, had dropped down to seven stone. Until then she had kept the depression from her parents.

'My whole life fell apart': The 26-year-old has described breaking-up with her boyfriend as the 'final straw'

She added: ‘My whole life fell apart. What was happening reminded me how worthless I was, how no one wanted me, how much of a burden I was.

'All of these underlying things I had believed for a long time but ignored. I got to the point where I just couldn’t bear the thought of  living any more. That got very aggressive and all-consuming.’

She said that in her worst moments she would try to harm herself and knew if she was left alone for days at a time without getting out and seeing people she would be a serious danger to herself.
It was the same feeling of emotional overload that left the former police officer weeping when the news broke about her father’s appointment.
Miss Welby, who lives in London and now works for the Christian charity Livability, said: ‘I ended up crying and crying.

Famous father: The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justine Welby, with his wife Caroline at Lambeth Palace

‘I was excited for him and for what he could do for the Church,’ she said, but she was also ‘scared’ by the impact it would have on her life and that of the whole family.

‘I was overwhelmed. My head is permanently full at the moment. There isn’t very much leeway. It gets to a point where it is too full. I cease being able to function.’
Miss Welby recovered from her darkest days by reading the Bible and praying.

She was, however, critical about the support of the Church for people suffering from mental illness.
She added: ‘Some Christians will say, “You’re not depressed”,’ and blame a lack of faith for depression.
Miss Welby said she still had her ‘ups and downs’ but now has a new boyfriend called Mike, an IT consultant.

DAILYMAIL