Juliana Francis
A mother of two, Rosemary, has narrated how her husband, Samuel, tried to force her to have sex with an HIV positive man for money.
That was not all. Samuel, according to Rosemary, also defiled their five-year-old (now seven) daughter.
The family secret was let out of the closet after the woman, who was sick and tired of the offensive stench from their daughter’s private part, went to seek intervention of the Advocates for children and Vulnerable Persons Network (ACVPN).
According to Rosemary, the sexual abuse of the child has been going on for two years.
Rosemary, an indigene of Benue State, is married to Samuel from Abeokuta in Ogun State. She alleged that Samuel, a laundry attendant at a hotel, located at Ikeja, Lagos State, was fond of beating her.
Advocates were also shocked when Rosemary alleged that Samuel had tried to force her to sleep with another man in a designated hotel, which she declined, stressing that her refusal led to further beatings in the house.
The woman, who believed that her husband belonged to a bad gang, added: “There was a time my husband bought a bunch of white handkerchiefs, which he used to wipe our daughter’s private parts after defiling her. I have also discovered he does the same to me after sex.”
According to Rosemary, after the discovery of their daughter’s violation, she confronted Samuel and also reported to his family members, friends and associates, but they did nothing.
She said: “There was a day he asked me to go and meet a man at a hotel and sleep with him. He had already collected a deposit from him. The agreement is that after having sex with him, I should collect a balance of N50,000. He was the one who selected the short dress I wore to the rendezvous. The time was past 11pm. The first day he brought the suggestion, I said no. It caused a quarrel, which lasted for four days. On that fateful night, while we were walking out, our neighbour, Mr. Kenneth, asked where we were going at that late hour; my husband said I was going to hospital to stay with my sister who just had a baby. Mr. Kenneth said he would go to the hospital with us, but my husband said no. He stopped a cab and I was taken to a hotel at Opebi. When I got to the hotel, I recognised one of the bouncers, called Stanley. When he saw me, he screamed and asked what I was doing there. When I came to Lagos, I was into modelling, my modelling name was Angel. It was through modelling I got to know Stanley. He asked what I was doing at that hotel, late at night, wearing a short dress. I burst into tears. He asked if I was there with my husband, I replied that it was a long story. He asked if my husband was late, I said no. I told him why I was there. He asked me the name of the man I was supposed to meet, I mentioned his name and Stanley shouted. He knew the man and told me that the man was HIV positive. Stanley said I should take him to my house, that he and his friends would beat my husband and then take him to a police station.”
According to her, Stanley became her guardian angel that night.
She added: “Stanley and the security guard prepared a small bed for me that night in the sentry house by the gate. That was where I slept. In the morning, Stanley said that he didn’t have much, but gave me N25,000. He said he gave me the money because he had sisters. He also advised that I should go back to my village before my husband destroyed my life or I should report him to the police. When I got home, my husband was furious. He said the man had been calling. He asked if I knew how much he had collected from the man and that I wanted to get him into trouble. I told him that I couldn’t do it. He said that I must do it. That I was his wife and that he had paid my bride price. That I was his property.”
Rosemary said that after the incident, Samuel stopped giving her money for upkeep of the house or for cooking. She explained that not only did he take to complaining every month that his salary had been slashed, he also started going to market himself to buy food items and to stock the house.
She added: “At every slight issue, he would attack me, beat me black and blue. Look at my teeth; he was the person who broke it.”
One day a woman in the community called Rosemary and suggested that she should go to human rights fighters before her husband kills her.
She said: “I told her that I didn’t know any human rights fighters. She gave me the contact of Esther Child Rights Foundation and I went there. The Chief Executive Officer of the foundation, Mrs. Esther Ogwu, invited my husband and he tried to deny attempting to give me out to another man for sex. But I had witnesses, I could call Mr. Kenneth. My husband now said it was only once he asked me to do such. Madam Esther said government would help my children and I, but that she would make sure my husband goes to jail for 14 years. I was happy until we got home and he started begging me. It was around that period that my baby started having vaginal discharge. What he usually does is to go to school to help me pick the children. He would then ask the boy to go outside and play, and then instructs the girl to lie on the bed and he would violate her. He told her not to tell me or she would die. There was a day I came home and my daughter was looking very weak and was crying. I asked what happened, she said ‘Daddy.’ I asked what did daddy do, she said ‘nothing.’”
Rosemary said that when she finally discovered the truth, she confronted Samuel, who begged her not to expose him, that he would take proper care of her and the children. She forgave him.
“I didn’t want my husband to be disgraced. After all, he is my husband and we have had children together,” she said.
Rosemary also stated that she lost her bead-making business owing to lack of support from Samuel. She also had to move out of the house and relocate to Ikorodu along with her two children, the 10-year-old boy and the survivor.
She said: “It was after I left him that my daughter began to open up to me, telling me shocking things. One particular day he came to our new place with some items he bought for the children. My son said we should go back to daddy, but my daughter said she would never go back to such a man! She started crying, she told me that daddy used to touch her ‘bumbum’ and wipe it with a white handkerchief. My husband used to bring bundles of white handkerchiefs, but I never gave it a thought until my daughter narrated her ordeal. My daughter opened up fully in 2018. The discharge became so severe, that if she sits anywhere, there would be an offensive stench.”
The ACVPN Secretary, Ebenezer Omejalile, expressed disgust over the issue.
He said: “I was infuriated when I heard the part of him asking his wife to have sex with another man. According to Esther’ Foundation, after Rosemary reported, she encouraged her to press charges against Samuel, but she refused due to pressure on her which prompted her to seek upkeep of her two children which was never done by her husband. Also, Samuel confessed to the crime according to Esther’s Foundation. The irony of it all was the survivor was discharging profusely and equally urinating uncontrollably and she didn't seek prompt medical attention until she was referred to us by one of the Media Advocates.
“We invited Rosemary to our office and after listening to her I put a call through to Mirabel Centre, we told her to go to Mirabel Centre which she did. She was shocked the services were absolutely free. This was one of the motivating factors for her to seek justice after she was duly counselled by the counsellor at Mirabel Centre. They discovered the survivor’s hymen was badly damaged and there was infection, which led to continued offensive discharge from her private part.
“The survivor was well-treated and referred for other services with sufficient drugs. Up till this moment, the survivor still goes to Mirabel Centre for further check-up.
“Unfortunately the Officer in Charge (OC) of the Family Support Unit (FSU), Area F Command, chose to be unprofessional about their unit by telling the survivor’s mother that we were only using her to gain promotion. We’re fully aware how the perpetrator had been inducing them with cash and they threw caution to the wind. The perpetrator’s father and his family were in our office two days ago, begging us to withdraw the petition, which we wrote to the commissioner of police. We told them it was not possible and we also told them that we didn’t have such power. We have been receiving phone calls from different quarters begging for the perpetrator, some offered huge financial offers. But we rebuffed all their advances.”
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