Wisdom Nwachukwu
A 20-year- old lady, who doesn't want her name disclosed, has shared the harrowing story of how she was sexually abused for 12 years by relatives.
Speaking exclusively with our reporter, she said
that it started when she was very young.
She said: “An uncle came to the house to visit, and I
was all alone. He took advantage of me, and then warned me never to tell anyone
or he would hurt my little brother. I kept it to myself. It went on for several
months and I was too scared to tell anyone. One day, I was told that I would be
going far away to live. I was so happy and I felt so happy because the abuse
would have to stop. I felt free. I felt I would start a new life all over at
the new place I was going. I didn’t know that the new place was the beginning
of my worst nightmare.”
According to her, when she got to the new place, she
was happy for a while, especially when she was enrolled in school. She was
pampered and she felt special.
She said: “But affection was missing in my life. It
wasn’t my biological family home, but the person was a close relative. I wasn't
liked by their mother or so I thought. Communication was difficult for me. I
couldn't communicate with anyone in the house, but I was free outside the
house. After a year, things changed. The two boys started coming to my room at
night or whenever we were left alone. It started with the oldest boy, he didn't
have sex with me at first, but he violated and abused my body. I felt used and
useless all at once. He never had sex with me, but the things he did and made
me to do, were so nauseating. He would play with my breasts and make me suck
his manhood. He would tell me things like I was a big girl and stuffs. And
then, before you know it, his younger brother joined. He was not that old, but
he was older than I. He was like six or seven years older than me. It was even
the younger one that used to make the threats. He would threaten to tell his
parents to send me back to where I came from. I was called a pig. I was so
scared that I didn't know what to do. There was no one to talk to, and the fact
that I lacked communication skill and couldn’t speak with mom and sister made my
situation worst. I was all alone.”
She recalled that she continued to stay alone and
kept far away from everyone. She didn’t like staying indoors because she no
longer felt safe. “I was more terrified of staying indoors and preferred
staying outside as long as possible, even preferred staying in school than
returning home. I felt safer outside the house,” she said.
According to her, she developed imaginary friends
and then soon started telling herself that she was useless and not good enough
for anything.
She said: “It was like that for years until I told
myself that I was the one who could change my situation; through my mindset by
saying enough was enough. I was tired of being scared and alone. I was no
longer a child, and it was time for me to stand up and fight for myself, and no
one was going to do it for me. I had no one to fight for me. It was a choice
and decision, which I decided that it was time for me to make. I was no longer
a child because I was 16 years old and was beginning to understand things and
issues. And that was how my life changed. Soon, I was the one making threats.
It took time, but the violations stopped. The psychological effects it had on
me, is that I had phobia for men. But now, I have got over it, thanks to the
help of Google and books. Parents need
to be aware of what is happening to their children. They also need to build
that relationship and good communication with their children. Everyone needs to
feel safe and loved. I was able to liberate myself from the shame of childhood
abuse with the power of self-esteem and self-compassion. I can proudly say I’m a survivor and not a
victim!”
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