Suicide flitted through our minds, say rape survivors

Rape in the Nigerian society has become common place and quickly forgotten. But victims of rape never forget and often live with the consequences of that brutal act. RIDWAN WAKILU looks at the ordeal of ladies that had been raped and the consequences of such actions on them. 

Abike was once a broken lady, but she survived and today is telling her story. It was still difficult for her to recall and narrate the incident without flinching. Abike was raped by her uncle. She recollected that on the day her uncle raped her, was the heaviest day of her menstruation.

The monthly flow didn’t deter her uncle as he grabbed her that fateful night and pinned her to the ground. As he was tearing off her panties, his hands encountered her soaked bloodied pad. He grabbed and flung it away. He then tied her mouth with his shirt.

Abike said: “All I could do was to struggle. But all my efforts to escape were futile. My tears were uncontrollable. He released me after 30 minutes. I was soaked in blood. It occurred to me, my hymen had been torn. I struggled to breathe. It was as if I was going to die, all that was running in my head was suicide. I tried to move my legs, I fell down.”

Abike had never had intercourse until the day she was raped. Abike is one of hundreds of raped victims in Nigeria. She said that suicide flitted through her mind several times after the incident. There exist a lot of rape victims in the country and many of them are living with their terrible experiences.

Sexual violence has continued to be a menace in the society with many cases recorded on daily basis. While most of them are unreported to appropriate authorities, some victims and families do, but no justice, as accused are not duly punished.

Rape is a criminal act in Nigeria, punishable under the criminal code act, with a punishment of life imprisonment.

According to research, in Nigeria, majority of cases of sexual violence go unreported, fortunately social media is now bringing the issues to the open.

People think after a person might have been raped, it all ends there. But it’s a wrong thought. Rape victims have worrisome outcomes. Many have committed suicide after being raped.

Martha was gang raped at a private off-campus hostel, near recalls Abia State University. She was raped by five men and one of them took them to film the sordid incident. The video of the rape was later uploaded on the Internet. Martha for long, kept saying she wanted to die because of the incident that happened to her.

She explained that it was terrible that five men gang raped her, but horrible for the dreadful act to have been uploaded on the net.

Although an investigation was launched, police however, couldn’t make any arrest because only the legs of the rapists were seen in the video, which had gone viral.

Human rights lawyer Caroline Ajie said that majority of sexual violence cases in Nigeria go unreported. This is due largely to fear on the part of the victim of being socially stigmatized or blamed. Ajie estimated that at least two million Nigerian girls experience sexual abuse annually and that only 28 per cent of rape cases are reported. Of those, only 12 per cent result in convictions.

The Valiant Voices Organisation, VVO, which serves as the voice of rape victims and filing lawsuit against accused persons in order to get justice for rights violation, said victims should not hesitate to approach it.

The Founder and National Coordinator, VVO, Ogundokun Temitope, who also is a human rights activist, said the organisation will continue to sensitise the public about issues on rape, child abuse and other human rights cases, and how victims could seek justice and violators adequately punished.

Temitope said: “I raise my voice as a courageous valiant lady without fear of any repercussion, that every victim of sexual abuse, maybe it happened 10 years ago, 20 years ago, five years ago, or yesterday; you have every right to file a lawsuit against the accused, if he is still alive and you know his whereabouts.”

Counselling rape survivors, Temitope said: “You do not have to stay in silence and depression. Break loose of that grip by speaking out. It is high time we took back our power from depraved psychopaths who believe they can use us forcefully whenever they like. Victims, come out of your past, forgive yourself and come alive. The Lord can redefine you. He can pick you out of that dirty miry clay and place you on the solid rock to stay. Just allow Him to refurbish you. He alone can rebuild you.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines sexual violence as: “Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances, or acts to traffic or otherwise directed against a person's sexuality using coercion, by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim."

According to South Africa Health, aside from trauma, victims might end up contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases, unwanted pregnancy and psychological impacts.

Speaking further on psychological impacts, South Africa Health said: “The psychological impacts of rape and sexual assault are often very significant. Trouble sleeping, anxiety, depression and thoughts of self-harm or suicide are common reactions. Changes in sexual desire may occur. Remember, people do recover from the impact of rape. It is good to think about what you can do to help your recovery and how to keep safe in this process.

“Some people have problems with drugs and alcohol, eating disorders and hurting themselves after being sexually assaulted. These coping strategies may harm your health. Please think about safe ways to deal with the effects of the assault, such as talking to a friend, writing in a journal, and seeing a counsellor or your doctor.

“Suicidal thoughts in particular can be very distressing. Talk to a trusted person about these thoughts and seek help from a health practitioner or a mental health service, so that you can be safe until the thoughts are no longer a problem.”