What is the big deal if the Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar is getting married?
If you had heard the buzz the news generated in my office, you had think a swarm of locust was about to wage war on mankind.
For crying out loud, Abubakar is foremost a guy before a policeman.
He’s just like the guy next door.
He has blood flowing in his veins. Just like any other guy, when he’s sexually excited, everything that is supposed to become engorged and straining will definitely do, except he has a problem.
Believe me, I don’t think he has!
And if you’re angry enough to tear off his proud, blue and black uniform and check out his vital statistics, you had first discover that just like any other guy, he has two lines men and one referee dangling between his thighs.
Now that we’ve established that he’s a guy, why can’t he possibly be allowed to act like any other man?
And some people even had the gut to say women gossip! It’s a lie. I have discovered that men gossip more than women.
Since the Abubakar love bug story broke, its only men I heard running stupid commentary and harping on it.
Listen to some of their silly uptake:
“Please remind me, when the IG wife did died that he’s now set to remarry? Or has he being having affair with this lady while his poor wife had been sick?”
And I had asked the busy body folk, “Wetin concern you! Why are you taking paracetamol over another’s guy’s headache?”
And another uptake:
“I heard the IG is getting married in September. Can you believe that? With all the Boko Haram wahala, he still has time for banging. If he sets to marry in the middle of the entire crisis, it means, all these time, he has been banging that babe.”
Sincerely, I pity people like the IG. People who are always in the limelight.
What ordinary you or I would have done and got away with, is not always the same with them.
If they cough, sneeze or fart, people simply become interested.
Once you’re in the limelight, everything you or doesn’t do, will always warrant discuss, analysis and dissertation.
If Abubakar had been cheating on his wife, before his death, it’s no biggy for someone like him. So mind your business!
If Abubakar doesn’t chase women, women will chase him.
I can bet you, that there’re hundred and one woman, in the queue, right now, waiting to give him the ‘Monica Lewinsky treatment.’
Yes O! To give him blowjob right there in his office. They are ready to crawl under his giant mahogany desk, unzip his well starched black trouser and buried their lusty, warm tongue over his manhood.
If you know the IG one-on-one, ask him the number of women who had offered him such lovely lip services. If he’s truthful, he’ll tell you that they are many.
And he gets these lips and ‘peg in the hole’ services, not just because he’s good looking, but majorly due to the power that comes with his office and position.
Many women love power. They want to move with those in the corridors of power and if giving him a little, tiny blowjob is the beginning to garner that power and share in it, so be it!
Abubakar is receiving a lot of attention right now because he’s probably one of the ever heard IG, who wants to get married while still in office.
I don’t even want to start talking about the bountiful goodies which such union will bring his way, especially since he’s still in office.
After all, Marvellous Akpoyibo did the same when he was the Commissioner of Police, Lagos State. Akpoyibo even taxed his Divisional Police Officers. At the end of the day, Akpos did not spend a dim in his daughter’s wedding. Well wishers and forced well wishers, sort of did the wedding for him.
It was the DPO’s who spilled the bean to us.
So tell me, if you’re in the position of IG or Akpoyibo, wouldn’t you do the same? It’s only a foolish man who will leave office before embarking on something.
I mean, after you leave office, you’re absolutely nothing! A policeman who retired told me that after his retirement, the only gift he received from someone was a single, empty, greeting card.
But when he was in office, he used to lose counts of monetary gifts and loads of other gifts which used to greet the door mat of his office. He was like a king, now he’s like a poor man, eating from the crumbs falling down from the rich guy’s table. That’s the bitter irony of life.
Let’s not forget that Abubakar is a dedicated Muslim. His religion permits him to marry 300 wives if he so desires.
That he had kept only to his late wife, is something worth applauding.
Another thing I argue with people is that Abubakar’s late wife died of cancer. Do you know how many years she must have been battling that debilitating disease?
I know what I’m talking about because I had taken a lot of time to study everything cancer, especially cervical cancer.
There was a time I was discussing with Abubakar about cervical cancer and he told me that there were now ways to manage it if it was detected early.
I never knew the guy was speaking from experience or even had a battle he had been battling with at the home front. Poor guy!
A woman, who had been that sick, for such a long time, probably had not been playing the role of a wife for too long.
This argument is based on the premise that he did not mourn his late wife for even a year before he was already set to remarry.
Let’s face it; Abubakar must have been playing the field for long. Married or not!
At least I know that he had a young son somewhere in Lagos. The child is the product of his romance with a journalist in the broadcast media. I’m sure there are many such ladies scattered about.
This however is not peculiar to Abubakar. It’s a behaviour which is synonymous with all uniform men.
They’re posted to different states, due to the nature of their job. Most of them bang like dogs and drop litters like pigs at every state.
I just don’t understand why amongst all men, uniform men find it most difficult to control their errant manhood.
Once they sight females, their one-eyed-snake will start hissing…eager to jump out and bite the babe’s apple.
The dropping of litters used to shock me too. It means they don’t even bother to use condoms! Nawao!
Just check out soldiers who went for peace mission some years ago. They came back with HIV trophies. We later heard that most of the babes, who handed the trophies, were unwilling participants in the sex.
The babes were raped. Many of the ladies also ended up having unwanted pregnancies and babies.
The poor life of a woman!
Now back to Abubakar.
I don’t think Abubakar is marrying this lady because he wants to practice how to rotate his buttocks in bed or to know whether his manhood could still be as strong as Olumo rock. Nay, it’s much more than that!
He’s also not remarrying because he suddenly had a desire to have children. Nope, the guy has several grown kids.
If it’s all about sex, he could be having it every day and any day. Babes dey plenty? Abubakar na fine boy, no pimples!
Even Tafa Balogun, former IG had his own harem of babes. I know. Even two friend dated Tafa and they didn’t mind sharing his sugar cane. He bought each of them fine cars. And that’s all its’ all about. The materialism!
No guy wants to be loved or wanted because of what he could give a babe.
A lot of guys in Abubakar’s position are lonely, even though they seemed to have legions of women flocking around and banging them.
They might even have a lady for each day of the week. But still the loneliness is there. It becomes worst at night. Or when you can’t even remember the name of the last babe you banged.
But without the money and power, what then?
These men are nothing! More like empty shells.
I want to believe that Abubakar is marrying for companionship and probably for love. But sex is not everything, especially for someone his age.
He probably wants to come home each day to a familiar face. He wants to eat home prepared food. He wants to have a sane discussion void of Boko Haram attacks, Fulani herds’ men killing one another, kidnappers rampaging, PDP crisis and President Jonathan and Dame Theatrics!
If someone like him at this age wants to start worrying about his prowess in bed, he would end up ingesting too many Viagra pills or the Hausa man Viagra known as Buratashi.
The guy go just kill him sef! Buratashi is supposed to make the most withered looking of manhood, to suddenly become infused with life and vigour and go for as many rounds as possible.
There was a time I thought it was a myth, but some good guys had put me straight!
I’m sure he had been banging the girl for long and they’re both happy with his performances in bed. I’m sure the lady, though far younger than Abubakar, is also satisfied with him.
But the truth is this: Abubakar may even decide to marry more women after her and there is nothing, absolutely nothing anyone can do about it!
The lady will accept it because their religion permits it.
The bottom-line however is that IG or not, every guy deserves to be happy. And if this lady is Abubakar’s perceived person who will bring him that happiness, then please let them be.
Life is too brief ojare!
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