When a single woman gets to her mid-30s and early 40s in Nigeria, she begins to worry about her marital status. JULIANA FRANCIS writes on these unmarried ladies’ dilemma, especially in the hands of fake clerics who exploit their desperation.
Today, Yemi Judith’s voice is filled with amusement as she recalled her encounter with the Cherubim and Seraphim pastor who assisted with prayers towards her need for a husband and retaining a new job.
She narrated: “The fasting and prayer was for two weeks. The pastor said that I needed a freshly ejaculated sperm to be poured into water for me to bath with. He said the spiritual bath would serve as conclusion of the two-week prayers. He said I would have to bath with the water in order for me to get my own husband and retain the job I just got. I was greatly worried. I didn’t know how to go about getting the sperm. And I desperately wanted the prayer to work. I told him my worry about the sperm. He said that I shouldn’t worry; he said he was available for me.”When the pastor told Judith he was available for her, she became confused. The pastor took pains to explain to her.
She recalled: “The pastor said that he would need to penetrate me and that when he was on the verge of orgasm, he would quickly pull out. He said that I would hand him a bowl, to pour the semen.”
According to the pastor, if she pours the semen into water and use it to bath, she will get a husband.
Judith knew something was off-key about this latest and bizarre demand from the man of God. But how does she refuse without offending God?
Judith’s experience is a classic example of the sort of hell and scam thousands of ladies fall into, in their quest for husbands. If the lady is rich, then it’s even better for the unscrupulous pastors.
In Europe and the US, ladies are allowed to make choices on whether they wish to marry or not. In Nigeria, women are trained and programmed from birth to feel incomplete without a husband. Thus, when a woman gets to mid-30s and early 40s, she begins to fret over her marital status. The need to settle down grows. Family and friends begin to mount pressure.
The pressure makes some ladies to bow to suggestions of visiting native doctors, Islamic clerics and pastors.
These days, two themes are presently occupying the attention of many churches and possibly Islamic worshippers.
In most churches these days, there are always programmes for single ladies.
Many churches today are exploiting the desperation of these spinsters to find their missing ribs. They are often sweet-talked into parting with money and sowing countless seeds in the hope that such gestures would endear them to God, who consequently will bless them with the much sought after husband.
Judith is among some of the ladies that recounted their experiences to New Telegraph.
Judith, like most ladies in her situation, didn’t leave home, searching for spiritual intervention in her search for husband.
These ladies are often dragged to such places, like lambs being led to the slaughter slab by family and friends.
In Judith’s case, she was taken to the Cherubim and Seraphim Church by her elder sister. When Judith met the pastor, she was unemployed. But that changed after he prayed for her. The job was the clincher for Judith. The pastor soon had her eating out his hands. He was like a thin-god to her.
He then decided to ‘do some spiritual works for her,’ so that she could get married and also retain her new job.
She said: “When I got the job, he said I should bring my first ‘fruit’ to the church. I did. I believed in him. I used to go to him for spiritual advice. He then told me that there was a prayer he would do for me, so that I could get a husband. He asked me to bring a lot of items for the prayer. The prayer would last for two weeks.
“Unfortunately, people used to come there to meet him for prayers. He locked the door and asked me to strip. He said the prayer needed sperm. He said it was vital. He said his penetration would be over within three minutes. People who came for prayer started knocking. He ignored them. But his sister came and joined in banging at the door, he finally opened the door.
“I have heard of such things happening to women, but that was the first time I would be experiencing such. I would have fallen victim. I thank God he didn’t force me. He was a man and stronger. He could have subdued me.”
She stressed that education was important in being able to tackle such a challenge. She said that her education and background made her to know that the pastor was trying to take advantage of her. She said that education breeds knowledge and makes women to know their rights.
She further said: “The culture of saying a woman must get married is another issue making women to fall prey to these fraudulent pastors. This sort of culture shouldn’t be allowed to continue. People shouldn’t look down on women who are not married. Women should rise above societal pressure. Marriage should be by choice.”
Another heart-breaking story is that of 37-year-old Anurika Onyeme, a trader and BSc holder. She was taken before a dirty river and flogged with three big brooms. She was not allowed to get up from a seat, which was placed inside the river until the three brooms all got splintered and some stuck on her body. She would later find blood streaming down her abused back and splintered broomsticks stuck into her skin. In spite of the ordeal, she’s still single and searching.
According to her, she went to visit a friend at Car Wash area of Egbeda, Lagos, when she met the pastor. The pastor, incidentally, is the owner of the Celestial Church in the area.
At that period, Anurika was dating a guy, residing in Germany. The guy was already talking of coming to Nigeria to meet Anurika’s family and carry out the traditional marriage rites.
Anurika’s interest was arrested when the pastor mentioned her guy in Germany. He also told her that the ‘water husband’ was making her business not to prosper.
When he realised he had captured her interest, he told her that he needed to do ‘some spiritual works’ for her.
Her words: “He said that after the exercise, my guy in Germany would rush down to Nigeria within a week or two, to take me with him to Germany. He said I should buy some items to appease my spirit husband. The items were over 13 and I bought all. He then asked me to pay N6,000 for his workmanship. I paid. He said on a Tuesday or Thursday, which are days of ‘Isegun,’ his three assistant pastors, would take me to a flowing river. But it wasn’t a flowing river they took me to. It was a dirty river, filled with human faeces and refuse. I even paid before we were allowed access into the river.
“We went with three brooms. I removed my clothes and threw them away as instructed. I tied a white cloth, which was one of the items I was instructed to buy. I entered the dirty river with a seat. I sat there and the three men flogged me. They sang as they flogged me. They were told not to stop until all the broomsticks had been splintered. My skin was torn and bloody. It was hell! But even after that, nothing happened. I didn’t get married. I’m still single.”
Anurika’s business didn’t flourish and neither did her guy in Germany keep to his marriage promises.
She had another encounter with a Pentecostal pastor; this particular one was pushed on her by her mum. The pastor’s name is Iyke. He appeared very holy, but turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Pastor Iyke said that he needed to pray for Anurika, so that she could get a husband, since age was no longer on her side.
Anurika said: “When he came to Lagos from Abia State, he said that the spirit of God told him that I would marry a pastor and that pastor was him. I didn’t believe him. He later tried the same game with my friend, who was also single.”
She discovered that a few weeks after he left Lagos to Abia State, he got married to his fiancée.
She further recalled another Pentecostal pastor she met at a prayer mountain, located at Iyana-Isashi, Lagos. The pastor’s name is Emeka. He was the person that approached her and her two friends at the mountain, while they were praying. He prayed with them and they exchanged phone numbers.
She said: “He said that God told him that I needed to have a spiritual bath. He said that he would be the person that would bath me. I refused. He tried to pull the same stunt with my two friends, he didn’t succeed. He stopped coming.”
Anurika advised every single lady who are still searching to look up to God. She added: “Some of these pastors can see, but lack solution. As long as there is life, ladies should hope on God.”
Felicia Urowo, 42, is a human resource manager, working with a computer firm that deals in software and accessories. Felicia’s experience was similar to Anurika. She was invited to a white garment church by a cousin, who felt her biological clock was ticking.
She was told that she needed a spiritual bath in a flowing river. She was also instructed to buy several items for the bath. According to the church, it was only after she had done that, which the man, whom she had been dating for over eight years, would make an honest woman of her. She was taken from Iyana-Ipaja, to a faraway river located in Badagary area. She wore white cloth and was flogged with brooms within an inch of her life. She returned home, fell on a bed and cried her eyes out.
She said with pains in her voice: “My sister, all I can say, is that women suffer a lot, in everything.”
Despite the horrifying ordeal, Felicia is still single today.
Olubukola is just a 26-year-old laboratory technician cum on-air personality. She had been under a lot of pressure by her parents to get married. Since she broke up with Olayinka, a young banker, she had not found another guy to replace him. For reasons she couldn’t fathom, men seem to shy away from her.
She said: “The pressure was so much that my parents started giving me concoctions. At a stage, I was told my hubby was in heaven and that the bond between us needed to be severed before any man could marry me on earth. In the course of seeking spiritual support from some Alfas, I found out I was being defrauded. They kept demanding money from me. I got tired of the situation.”
Bukky Ololade is rich, lives in a three-bedroom apartment, with air conditioners in all the rooms. She drives a Toyota Lexus SUV car. She seems to have everything, except a husband. She’s 40 years old.
She had been dragged from one church toanother by family members in the quest to get her a husband. While on this quest, Bukky has lost a substantial amount of money to pastors. She said: “It usually starts with pressure from family members, reminding you that age is not on your side. They’ll be the one to tell you that they know that or this powerful pastor. That was how I encountered a pastor; he said I should embark on white fasting. He collected money from me to buy fruits and other items; he later disappeared. My mum’s friend took me to another church. She said the pastor was powerful and could see into the past, present and future. When I met him, he told me things about myself; things that were true. He said I should buy chairs for the church. He also collected money from me. Then he stopped picking my calls. I have been told by another pastor to bath in a flowing river, throw away the sponge I used in bathing into the river without looking back. I have done everything and lost a lot of money, but I’m yet to get a husband.”
Bukky said that she has had worst experiences with pastors and Muslim clerics from her friends that are single and searching. She has now resigned herself to God and fate.
She said: “Any lady seeking for husband should look up to God. I have not lost hope. But I’ll never again kneel before any pastor!”
Miss Chioma Ogochukwu is over 50 years. She was briefly engaged before her fiancé jilted her because her ‘spiritual husband’ used to attack him.
She said: “I’ve not gotten any husband despite my beauty and education. This baffled me. I kept praying to God for divine intervention. I came back from work one day and decided to take a rest. I fell asleep. I had a dream, where I was making love with a man. I woke up, but didn’t take the dream seriously. Several days passed, I kept having the same dream. One day, the man that I had been dating in the past one year, proposed to me. I accepted. I went into the kitchen to prepare food for him. He was in the parlour, watching a movie when he suddenly screamed. I rushed out of the kitchen. I asked him what was wrong; he said someone was knocking on his head. I was worried. I informed my mother. She advised me to go to a church. I went there and informed the pastor. We prayed together. It was revealed that I had a spiritual husband. The pastor told me to fast and pray for seven days, which I did. They did deliverance for me. That was how I got delivered. My guy later jilted me, even before I sought solution. Till date, I’m still single.”
Mr. Akin Gabriel, a clinical psychologist with the Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, has something to say about the issue.
He said: “To say a lady is late for marriage could be relative, and especially in Nigeria where cultural practices differ among many different ethnic groups. For instance, there are tribes in Nigeria where a girl is ripe for marriage as early as age 12, while in others it is 18 and above. So, in such a situation where 12 is the ripe age, once a girl gets to 14 or 15, then problem of anxiety sets in. In the case of where 18 is the standard age, any lady above the age of 20 will begin to be anxious. There is the challenge of perception too, and such a person will begin to have issues of self-worth and self-esteem. Such an individual will begin to feel bad whenever she sees her mates who are married.”
The General Overseer of Open Channel Bible Church, Gowon Estate, Lagos, a deliverance ministry, Pastor Darlington Ajitemisan, said that it was erroneous and wrong profiling to believe such anomalies happen only in white garment churches.
According to him, pastors in white garment churches, sleeping with ladies looking for fruits of the womb or husband or extorting money from them, is nothing new. He noted that the present problem, rocking Christendom, is that pastors in Pentecostal churches are now doing the same. He said that before, such things were unheard of in Pentecostal churches.
He said: “It’s now common in Pentecostal churches. Before, such practice is an abomination in Pentecostal churches. It’s satanic and an oppression on such pastors that do it.”
Ajitemisan mentioned names of Pentecostal churches known for such practices. Astonishingly, some of them are popular churches.
Recalling his encounter with a sister that went to one of such churches, located at Seliat Bus stop, Egbeda/Idimu, Lagos, he said that the lady, named Veronica, later died.
According to him, Veronica was a teacher in a school with one of his members. She was searching for a husband and went to the popular church at Seliat Bus stop.
Ajitemisan said: “She went to the church, seeking for what is called favour to marry. The pastor gave her a white handkerchief. He instructed her to masturbate and use the handkerchief to wipe the fluid from her private part. She did as he instructed. Now, is it possible for any lady in her right senses to carry out such instruction? She handed over the handkerchief and later became sick. I didn’t know then. She came to my church for deliverance prayer. I was praying for her, when she suddenly asked me if she should remove her clothes. I was shocked. And before I could say anything, she undressed, including removing her panties and laid on the altar. She told me that it would be a secret between us. I ran out of the church. She said I should just have sex with her, that anointing would fall on her. She was quite beautiful. I started interviewing her; she said that’s what pastors in other churches used to do to her. They would have sex with her; they told her she had spirit husband.”
Further explaining that many of such pastors were involved in occultism, Ajitemisan said that they spell-bound the women into submission. He said that the motive was primarily for churches to grow with members and for money to flow. He noted that unemployment rate in Nigeria was also a factor that was compelling the uncalled and those not chosen by God, to become clergies.
He said that most times, the women wouldn’t even know that they had been raped until they get home, which is when they would become conscious. He said they would discover residue of sperm in their private parts when they get home. Sperms, they wouldn’t be able to explain.
He added: “All some of these pastors needed to do, was to ask the sister to kneel down for prayer. Once they placed their hands on the person’s forehead, she’s gone. She wouldn’t know what she was doing. Some pastors only needed to hold the sister’s hands for prayer. Or blow breeze on her. It’s all about body contact.
“Some of them even only demand that these desperate ladies suck their manhood. There’s a reason for it. The purpose is to make the church grow. If it’s natural, such pastors would have got tired of sex with different women, but it’s because they must continue. It’s a covenant.”
When the journalist told him that she was ready and willing to infiltrate one of the churches mentioned in order to pose as a single and searching lady, to experience what other victims had experienced, Ajitemisan said that the journalist should be ready to get raped.
He said: “You’ll be raped! You wouldn’t know what you would be doing. The pastor would ask you to kneel for prayers. Will you refuse? If you refuse, he would sense something is wrong. Look for another way to carry out your investigation; no story is worth being submitted to demonic deposits in your body. Rape is bad, but at the end of the day, it’s better to be raped, than allow an evil pastor to use juju on you and have sex with you. It all has to do with ritual, hypnotism and occultism. As an investigator, you’ll confess your mission and claim love made you to do it. But it wouldn’t be love; it would be juju which has taken control over your system.”
Alfa Suleiman Hussein, residing at Ajah, Lagos, warned ladies who are single and searching, to be careful of places they go, seeking for spiritual help to get a husband.
He recalled a dreadful incident that happened to one Aishat, in Kwara State. He said that his brother used to date Aishat, but the relationship later fizzled out. Aishat, from Lokoja, Kogi State, is a master’s degree holder and works with an oil company. She was beautiful and rich, but had no husband.
Hussein said: “The native doctor, from Kwara State, promised to do spiritual work for her that would quickly make her get a husband. He gave her water to drink. That was all. She returned home, packed her things and moved into the native doctor’s home. This native doctor is a stark illiterate; someone below her status; someone she would never in million years date. Everyone tried to talk her out of living with the native doctor, who already had two wives and many children, but she wouldn’t listen.”
Hussein urged single ladies to be patient and prayerful. He said that ladies should be careful the type of clergies and native doctors they go to.
Mr. Opeoluwa Sunday, pastor in a Cherubim and Seraphim Church situated at Akin-Ogun area of Gowon Estate, said: “It’s in the bible; in the end time a man will be married to seven women, not because of love, because these women want to ease themselves of the shame and bitterness they are facing, so they plead to bear his name while they provide for their needs themselves.”
He further explained that a lady, not getting married at the appropriate time, could be spiritual. Sunday said the lady was either affected by prophesy in the bible or attacked by demons, spirits or people.
He said: “The cause of not getting married at the appropriate time is not a hard thing to deal with. A lot of ladies have visited me due to this issue and all I did was to bring the lady closer to God with the help of the bible. She can continue with some prayers, and if the situation is serious, we support her with more prayers and encourage her to go into fasting.”
Sunday stressed that prayer was the only key to getting a husband, adding that many single ladies are not ready to pray, which was why they fall into wrong hands
Mr. Amodu Yahaya, an Alfa with a mosque situated at Agege axis, said that he had seen a lot of women who would go to any length to get a husband.
Yahaya said that it was wrong to think every delay in marriage was spiritual. He said that delay in marriage could be caused by the woman herself.
His words: “I have met ladies who claimed to have been through hell in the hands of people who call themselves prophets, while trying to find a solution to single status. The fault is not from the false prophets. Some ladies believe in quick responses; so those prophets capitalise on that and start collecting money and other materials from them.”
A pastor with Christ Apostolic Church, (CAC), Obalende, Lagos, Prophet Olusegun Arogundade, said that in some cases, one needed to ask money from ladies seeking for husbands, in order to carry out special spiritual assignments for them.
Arogundade disclosed his encounter with one Miss Aromire. He said Aromire used to hear a voice, saying, “I’m your husband, you can’t get married to another.”
Perturbed by the strange voice, Aromire went to Arogundade. It was revealed that she couldn’t get married because of her spiritual husband.
Arogundade said: “I asked her for a sum of N20,000 to enable me to get materials for her cleansing. The cleansing needed three packets of candles, two yards of white clothes, brooms, olive oil and other things. She was taken to mountain, where the cleansing was done for four hours. After the cleansing that day, the spiritual husband did not disturb her again. Today, she’s happily married with two kids.”
A Deeper Life Bible Church Pastor of over 32 years, Samuel Adejumo, said: “Majority of the causes of late marriages is beyond ordinary. There are many things that do occur which causes these problems. Some start from the day the child is born; which is why, we, as pastors, try to look at it from the spiritual angle.”
According to Adejumo, sometimes, late marriages are often caused by ego. He said that many ladies are too choosy. He said that some ladies wouldn’t want to accept marriage proposals until they are through with university and get a job.
https://newtelegraphonline.com/2016/12/travails-desperate-spinsters/
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