Charly Boy and wife
Charles
Oputa a.k.a Charly Boy, has been married to Diana a.k.a Lady D, for
over 35 years. The couple reveals what has kept their marriage going in
this interview
How long have you been married?
Charles: We lived in sin for about two years but we have been married for over 35 years.
Where and how did you meet each other?
Lady D: We met in Boston. That was
in 1976 at a hair salon where I worked. Charles came in to fix his
hair, but after he left, he called my boss and asked to speak with me.
He invited me to a party the next day with a promise to pick me up from
my work place. I noticed that he was so soft spoken and didn’t even have
an accent at all. He didn’t even sound like someone from Africa. Now,
that fuelled my curiosity. Before Charles, I never dated anyone from
Africa. Well, he showed up the next day but guess what? There was no
party to attend! We ended up driving all the way to the next state and
back. That was the party.
When did the proposal come?
Lady D: I proposed to him! Then,
he was just comfortable with us been friends, and after about three
failed marriages he was going to take his time. During my first visit to
Nigeria, I met his wonderful family and I just fell deeply in love with
him. Charles has always been a gentleman to the core, so very smooth
and easy. You could tell he was well groomed.
Charles: Marriage was the last
thing on my mind because of past experiences. I had three failed
marriages. She woke up one day, looked me in the eyes, and said, ‘marry
me or I leave you today not tomorrow.’ I admired her guts. Also, I had a
sneaky feeling that she could be different from the women I had married
before. Luckily, I was right.
What has been the experience with Lady D, considering the fact that she is not a Nigerian?
Charles: Women are the same,
irrespective of colour or race. My wife has lived in Nigeria for over 30
years. She has totally lost her American accent. She was ordained by
God to marry me. She is my very best friend.
How did you cope all these years in Nigeria? Moreover, with a weird man like Charles?
Lady D: I came here because of
somebody and if it is a hut he lives in, I will live in that hut with
him. I loved the people and I had someone who taught me the language. I
enjoyed the food too. As for my husband, no one can know Charles the way
I know him. Charly Boy is an image contrived to shock conservative
Nigerians out of their analogue way of thinking. Charles is my husband
and he puts his family first before anything or anybody. Charles is the
kind of man every woman would love to have as a husband. His parents
have been living with us for the past eight years and he makes time to
take them out on weekends. All I have felt for the past 36 years is
nothing but love from his family.
What is the staying power of your marriage?
Lady D: I guess we are two
determined persons, who have vowed that our marriage will be different.
We talk a lot. We came into this marriage as best friends and I’m glad
it hasn’t changed at all. Charles is the first to say, ‘I’m sorry’, when
he goofs and he is very sensitive to my feelings. His parents have
lived together for over 65 years, while mine have lived together for
over 58 years. So why should ours be different? We work very hard at
keeping it fresh and exciting.
Unlike some celebrity marriages, how have yours been scandal-free?
Charles: I come from a rich
heritage- the Oputas are known to make good husbands. In addition, my
private life and my public life cannot merge together because they won’t
fit. Lastly, I am not Charly Boy. We don’t let Charly Boy into our
house. Anything that concerns my family is very personal even though
quite a lot has been written too. When we have issues, even our kids in
the house can’t tell something is amiss and I never allow any issue drag
over a day. If I get really upset and angry, I go to my room and say
nothing to her. She hates it! For me it’s just a check, because when one
is angry, you can say things that you don’t mean. That’s why I shut up.
My life as a husband, son and father is totally different from my life
as an entertainer. I was brought up with an overdose of morality and
strong family values.
So, how can a marriage work?
Charles: What works for me may not
work for the next person. Women are easy to deal with as long as they
feel they are loved and respected. As a man, you have to work at it. But
most men are like babies, who forever want to be in a toy shop, with
the option of playing with any toy they come across. Some men don’t even
have respect for their wives, as they fornicate all over the place as
if they haven’t seen a woman before, how do you want your wife to feel?
Make your woman your best friend, be considerate, have respect and show
her love, if you don’t, someone else may just be doing that for you.
So, how did you blend with his kids from other women?
Lady D: Charles had about six children
before we married. I knew they existed and he was always attached to
them. Initially, it wasn’t easy inheriting six children but they are so
wonderful and I’m now a proud mother of nine children.
Do you quarrel? If yes, how do you settle it? Who apologises first?
Lady D: Yes we quarrel sometimes
over some stupid stuff. But it never lasts for long. We trash it out, he
apologises and we just move on. If I’m the one at fault, I do the same.
Is he fussy about food, what is his favourite dish?
Lady D: He wasn’t. But four years
ago, he turned into a health freak. He watches what he eats, but we have
a good cook who is also mindful of his very strict diet. Charles
doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and doesn’t joke with sleep! His
vegetables dish is prepared in different creative ways. He used to be a
vegetarian and almost drove us crazy in the house. He has stopped now.
Has your trust for him ever wobbled?
Lady D: Well, my trust for him
did wobble the first few years. Initially, it wasn’t easy but as time
passed by, I began to see things for what they really are, not what it
looked like. Experience will always teach us how to deal with things.
Being fulfilled in marriage is guaranteed when your spouse is
supportive, understanding and sensitive to your feelings and most
importantly, when he is always looking for creative ways to keep the
fire burning.
In almost four decades, don’t you get bored?
Lady D: He is an unrepentant
romantic, even though he will always hide that part from the public, but
that is what he is. He knows that I love romance. Being married for
almost four decades can be a drag if you don’t work on it. That is why
we always try to keep it as youthful and fresh as we can. It’s not easy
but we are determined.
Do you both still remember to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries?
Lady D: Charles knows how to sweep
me off my feet and he knows how to woo me with his outlandish and
elaborate surprises. The latest was my birthday a few weeks ago. I feel
special most of the time.
What should people hold on to if their relationship must last as long as yours?
Mutual respect, love, patience and good old fashion friendship, like two buddies.
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