Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Who’s ‘topping’ your woman for you? (1)

“They’re men who give their wives little or no money at all, yet when they get home, they want to eat soup or stew which contains beef, turkey, shakin, pomo, bokoto and the rest.

 They don’t bother to ask the woman where she gets money. These men are not stupid, just playing smart.

They know that the money dropped for the house keep or to prepare food would never be enough to buy tomatoes with pepper, let alone fish, meat and pomo, but they still dropped the nonsense anyway.

They’ll tell themselves: 'I know my wife will find a way to prepare the food. She always does!'


 I can bet you that such women have men topping them. Yes! It means the wife or wives have lovers, who take over from where their husbands’ stopped…”

That was the voice of my kid sister, Glory.

You guys probably understand the nucleus of her argument.

You may not agree with her, but believe me, there are a lot of irresponsible husbands and fathers out there today.

They don’t seem to care or perhaps they simply lack the ability to care or bother whether other guys are topping their wives for them.

Yes, I said for them!

How would you describe a husband who deliberately shirks his responsibilities, forcing the wife, albeit indirectly, to seek help from another guy, just to make sure her kids eat, survive or goes to school?

 After she’s done with the preparation, the husband comes home and without asking how she miraculously got money to prepare such sumptuous meal, gets down to start eating like his life depends on the food.

Since the guy outside is assisting him with the feeding of his kids, money to cook and probably paying other bills in the house, it also means he’s assisting him to top/bang his wife.

In fact, we should applaud the other guy.

His job is not easy O! Aside from assisting his rival, whether the guy wanted it or not, our other guy also has to sneak and hide just to reach the woman and bang her. He knows that she’s a married woman. He knows that he could be skinned alive if he was found browsing her website.

Is that fair on him? I mean, after he had spent so much! He’s not just spending money; he’s also spending and expending his much valued natural ice-cream on the babe!

A husband or lover must be bothered, if he comes home to see a pot of soup worth N5000, after he gave N2000 to his wife. He should ask questions. He should not take things at face value.

You may not know it, but the whole neighbours in the street are probably laughing behind you, calling you, ‘mugu,’ because another guy is topping your wife.

How a woman is supposed to prepare a delicious soup, seasoned with beef, pomo, dried fish and stock fish with just N2000, beats me.

Believe me; an average Nigerian guy knows how much it costs to prepare a pot of soup or stew. When they drop N2000 for such a meal, they’re just playing to the gallery.

They know what they’re doing. They want their wives to become Jesus Christ; turning N2000 to N5000. Then the go and give testimony: “My wife is a wonderful woman. I thank God, he truly chose her for me. She the biblical virtuous woman…”

Such nonsense!

If a woman is working, there should be a limit to what she can do to assist in the home front.

A woman is receiving; say may be N50, 000 per month? Yet she pays bills and buys clothes for the kids worth more than that. Then she still has to transport to and from work, from the money until the month runs out. She still has to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner from the money and she still has to stock the house.

What’s the meaning of that? Did the guy plant a money tree at their backyard?

I have discovered that it’s worst with working class women. Their husbands expect them to practically run the home, while they stroll about like they don’t have a care in the world. Some of them even use their own salaries to start surfing for other women to spend it on, while their wives suffer.

And if you think it’s easier for women whose husbands are outside the country, then you don’t know anything!

There are a lot of good men out there though. They are those who make sure that their wives are not burdened. They make sure that she has a car to drive around and takes the load off her feet. Husbands who remember their wives need change of wardrobes, among other things. Such men are rare, but they do exist. They’re not a figment of my imagination.

When a woman stocks the house, it doesn’t mean the raw food will take on a life of its own and prepare itself. She still needs to go to the market from time to time, to buy other items unavailable in the house to make soup or stew. She could decide to make moi-moi or bean cake. She could decide to make yam porridge or prepare stew with rice.

This takes money.

A wife who is not well cared for by her husband, either financially, physically or psychologically is quite easy to convince to indulge in an extra marital affair.

Once you marry a woman, she becomes your responsibility. She’s like your first kid. You make sure she eats and dresses well. You make sure she’s not over burdened. The way your wife looks, should be a reflection of how well or bad you’re taking care of her.

You should do everything within your power to reduce her stress. But these days, husbands rather add further stresses to their wives, making her look older than their mothers.

Why don’t you care where she’s getting the money from? How she’s surviving? How does she do it? Where and how the heck does she get the extra dough from?
To be continuedebere20@gmail.com, 08038465069

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