'Those are salad tongs! You are not putting any goddamn kitchenware in there!' Funniest things ever said by women giving birth

It's not a secret that labour can turn a woman into someone they never even knew existed...

Whether you're cursing at your husband, your doctors or just to yourself, the experience of giving birth is something every mother can relate to.

Now Reddit has asked doctors and nurses to share their most memorable child birth experiences, 'Doctors, nurses who deliver babies, what are some strange or funny things people have screamed while giving birth?,' Ask Reddit wrote. 

Reddit has asked doctors and nurses to share their most memorable child birth experiences: 'Doctors, nurses who deliver babies, what are some strange or funny things people have screamed while giving birth?'

The question was asked 20 days ago, and has received over 3000 hilarious comments that will have you in stitches.

From gas induced delirium, to pain wrenching abuse, these Reddit users have seen it all.

HILARIOUS LABOUR MOMENTS SHARED BY REDDIT USERS

'When my brother was born, they had to use forceps to get him out. My mom saw them and screamed "THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY GODDAMN KITCHENWARE IN THERE!"'

'My mothers labour was extremely short, I was born within an hour. So that means that she went from experiencing minimal pain, to extreme pain with little time to adjust. When my dad was driving her to the hospital, he unfortunately had to stop for gas. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible. My mom then proceeded to lean out the window, yelling "DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE."'
'My mum apparently said, upon viewing my brother whose head and face had become rather misshapen during his protracted journey down the birth canel. "Noooo! Put it back in!"'
Even one mother in labour tried setting up her baby's daddy with one of the doctors who assisted in the delivery.
'So while this woman is pushing out her baby she begins to half tell/half scream that my roommate should date her ex/the baby daddy. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: You should really....(screams in pain)....go out with....(Screams again) him sometime. He's really fun.
Dad: I wouldn't mind some drinks sometime, what are you doing this evening?'
Something to keep in mind before falling pregnant, once you are pregnant there is no way going around giving birth;

'Patient fully dialated, started pushing, then changed her mind. "I don't wanna do this, I'm going the f**k home." And then tried to get off the table.'

'My wife told me, in a satanic voice, to "get better ice chips, these suck!". I am not sure what the quality issue was, but I ran and got her a different cup full.'

But thankfully there are pain killers to help numb the pain for some women.

'I was high on meds at the time, I was begging for BBQ ribs in between contractions. "C'mon, honey! The nurses will never know!" They were standing right there.'

'Anesthesiologists are angels straight from heaven.'

'My husband told me when I was breathing the laughing gas I screamed "I'm lady Darth Vader!" as I was pushing. Then I asked the doctor if he felt my tonsils when he has his arm up there.'

'My mum said, "What did I have?" and the nurse said, "You haven't had anything yet, dear." She was high on gas, my mum...' 

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