There’s no man or woman who doesn’t need love. No matter how rich a lady is, she needs a guy
The lover of Njideka Lizzy was paraded last week. He is just 31. Lizzy was 39.
It was at the parade ground that I got talking with my friend, Ivy Kanu, from Television Continental.
I was trying to express my feelings towards Lizzy. How I pitied her tragic end. But Ivy cut me short.
She couldn’t stomach or understand older women who go for younger men.
Hum!
What can one say to that?
Many people would argue that it’s because younger men are stronger and last longer in bed than older men.
Or that a younger man can maintain erection than older ones.
But my argument is different.
Like I tried to tell my beautiful Ivy, most times, it’s all about love.
There’s no man or woman who doesn’t need love. No matter how rich a lady is, she needs a guy.
The night, most times, becomes cold and loneliness bites like an angry bitch on such nights.
Even those who scoffed at love are the ones who later fall like a lead. They’re the hardest hit.
Sometimes, we fall in love with the wrong person. How does one even begin to know the right person to fall in love with?
Nobody has the proficiency to prepare anyone for heartbreak. We just take the chances at love. If it works out, good. If not, you lick your wound and forge ahead.
Our hearts are always the ones to make the final choices. Our hearts, most times, quarrel with our heads. Your head tells you that the guy/lady is all wrong for you, but your heart, for reasons no one can understand, simply dances in joy whenever it beholds her/his face or hears his/her voice or even the person’s footsteps.
This is why you hear words such as this: “As the hair is attached to the head, so is my heart attached to you….”
Nobody gets to choose who he/she can love. Cupid is a capricious god and can even make you fall for someone you feel doesn’t belong to your class. That’s why you see Muslims marrying Christians and Igbo marrying Hausa. True, most ladies, even guys, prefer someone who is memorable between the sheets, but in the case of Lizzy, I strongly feel she was in love with Williams.
It was love that made her to tell Williams to jilt his girlfriend. Lizzy told him that she couldn’t share.
No woman particularly likes to share her guy’s sugar stick. I don’t!
On the day Lizzy picked his call and heard a lady’s voice, she smashed Williams’ phone.
It was also love that led to her demise. Williams said that since Lizzy asked him to stop seeing other ladies, he had done so and expected her to do same.
But Lizzy had gone out on a date. Nobody knew whether she made love with her date or not. But she left in the morning and returned at past midnight.
The date called to check if she was safely home. But Lizzy didn’t want to pick the call in the presence of Williams. She probably didn’t want to hurt him more. Williams was forced to pick her call.
He heard a guy’s voice, asking, “Baby, are you home?”
He went mad.
And before one knew was what happening, he had strangled Lizzy to death.
He told me: “I didn’t mean to kill her. She was good to me.”
Seriously, I don’t think there’s anything wrong in dating a younger person. Age is a thing of the mind. You might be 40 and act like 14. You may even be just 20, but act like a 40-year-old.
This is why you hear people saying: “He acts older than his age. He carries himself in a mature way.”
When I was an undergraduate, I dated a guy who was a year younger than me and I tell you, he’s the best.
Due to his carriage, charisma and intelligent way of discussing issues, none of my friends believed I was older than him.
Listen, a 39-year-old guy could as well satisfy Lizzy sexually as her 31-year-old Williams.
In fact, when it comes to sexual prowess in bed, I bet you, you wouldn’t notice much difference between a 39-year-old guy and a 31-year-old.
And let’s not forget that in the final equation, experience and expertise in knowing and sensing a babe’s G-Spots matter. It has got nothing to do with age, but more with sensitivity, especially to a woman’s needs.
The difference in a guy’s sexual prowess and performance begins when he is older…say in his 50s and 60s.
You wouldn’t dare to compare the sexual performance of a 30-year-old with that of 50-year-old or 60-year-old. Such comparison is quite unfair.
A 30-year-old guy’s erection will be firm, reminding one of the hard rock of Olumo. But a guy in his 60’s wouldn’t be that firm. Will he?
A friend of mine, a guy, argued vehemently against this opinion. He said an erection and firmness of a 30-year-old and 60-year-old are the same. Do you agree?
I don’t!
Many marriages, where women married men younger than them, had crumbled, but I can bet you, that the break up was not due to the age difference.
Once a guy is banging a woman, age difference becomes negligible, unimportant. As a woman, you need to know that a guy is a guy, no matter his age.
When you’re attracted to a younger guy, there’re a lot of things you need to take into consideration. You need to and must respect him. It’s an ego thing. A guy needs to know that he’s in charge.
Does his age affect the size or length of his manhood, during sex? Does it affect his display of love and affection towards the woman? If as a lady, you can allow a younger guy to bang you, you should respect him.
Marriages that break between older women and younger guys is probably due to disrespect, especially from the woman’s angle.
If the woman is older and richer, it also can pose a problem. There are many factors in keeping a marriage and there are also several other factors that can lead to breakup.
Sometimes, problems arise if the lady is richer than the guy and shoves it down his throat at every given time.
It could be she always reminded him that she bought him this or that, and thus he should wag his tail when she whistles.
In the rich woman, poor guy circle, the relationship is filled with negative, explosive energies.
Anyway, the bottom line is that you can have a fulfilling and enjoyable relationship with a younger guy, but you both need to understand each other.
And if you really want him for keeps, you need to sit down and discuss man to woman. You’ll need to be flexible and tolerant.
Nothing good comes easy. The best diamond, is often covered with dry leafs. You’ll need to remove many dry leafs before you get to the hidden diamond.
ebere20@gmail.com,
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