Why valentine is demonic, satanic

Before INEC postponed the elections, I’d already made plans on how to spend my valentine.

You want to know my plans?

It’s simple really. I had planned to take my kids to the eatery, allow them to get me pissed, so that I could shout until I’m hoarse and then watch them indulgently.

Incidentally, that day also happened to be my kid sister and brother’s birthday. You’re stunned abi?

I was stunned when I got to the age to know what birthdays are.

And before you ask, no, they’re not twin. My kid brother is older.

I don’t know how my folks did it, but Glory and Emeka arrived on the same month and day. The only difference was the year.

Phew! What the heck of a banging I kept wondering.

Anyway, there I was, full of plans and dreams. Glory was planning to prepare fried rice for her birthday. My mouth is already watering.

Then I went to church on Sunday and pastor preached against valentine. He said it had become a sort of Idol. It’s now satanic and demonic. He said that people now use the opportunity and excuse to bang like idiots without sexual control. Committing sins of fornication and the rest shit.

Hummm. Anyway, something along that line. Good Christians are not supposed to indulge in it.

I watch my plans crumple like pack of cards. You know that I’m a good christian. No valentine for me. You want to convince me otherwise? Try!

I told my friend Adewale and he gave me a holy lecture on what St. Valentine stands for. Valentine was a guy-priest- who against all odds, joined two lovers in a holy wedlock against their feuding families wishes. He was murdered for his believe in their love. Adewale said the incident was like in the setting and era of Romeo and Juliet. Crazy, rich families were always feuding over silly things.

Excuse me guys, does any of you really know the story? I’ve been meaning to Google it, but jeez, my working hours are killing me!

In a nutshell, Adewale tried to convince me that there was nothing satanic or demonic about valentine. It’s a love story that happened monkey years ago.

Come on folks, what do you think? Do you agree with my pastor or Adewale?

Adewale further argued that a man or husband doesn’t need valentine as an excuse to bang his wife or lover silly. I totally agree with that. Sex should be spontaneous, not waiting for valentine to arrive.

Yeah, I’m convinced. I don’t understand why so many people keep associating valentine with sex. It’s a season of love and expression of love.

It’s a time to show love to everyone around you, including homeless kids and orphans. In fact, if the day had been a working one, I would have gone round our office, kissing everyone. Yes OO, including our security men. Of course, and ladies too! Ha!Ha!Ha!

I however fail to see why valentine shouldn’t end in a sizzling love making with your wife or lover if that’s the why the god of love, Cupid, wants it.

In fact, if you have the dough, you can buy nice things to show love, even to your dad, mum and siblings.

And since love is in the air, why not muster a little courage and tell that lady how you feel about her?

You’ve been nursing this feeling for long. Are you going to your grave with it? Yes, you’ve heard she snubs men who approach her and you’re scared shitless she’ll embarrass you, but my dear, my motto is this: ‘Nothing venture, nothing gain.”

Go to her right now. If she says no, at least you’ll know you tried. If you didn’t go to her, you’d keep wondering whether she would have agreed or not.

Yes brother, take the bull by the horn.

The same goes for you sister. You’ve been stealing glances at him for years now, with your heart gyrating like a disco dancer whenever he comes near you. You’ve been waiting for him to make the move, but he hadn’t. You’re scared that he’ll tag you, ‘cheap,’ if you make the first move.   

Believe me, in this day and age, most guys don’t bother about that.

If a guy can declare his feelings for a lady, why can’t a lady do the same? If he sneered at you for hitting on him, them he’s probably not the guy for you. 

Most guys who are approached by women, treasure the women, knowing that it was only the powerful feelings of love and gut that made her to brave everything and say, “I’ve loved you for long.”

Go get him sister! I’ve got your back. Cupid has also got your back. We’re watching...love is in the air. The day could be yours...

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