Thursday, March 5, 2015

Never tell a babe to hide under the bed (2)

I’m a good sister. I tagged along. She met the lady in the guy’s home.
And just like that, the two babes started a wrestle mania, while the idiot guy ran out.
Yes O, he ran out, leaving them to their show of shame.
My sister was incensed that the lady, not satisfied with sharing her sugarcane, dared and had the effrontery to get pregnant for the guy.

Jeez! Some ladies are so stupid! Why would any lady in her right senses get pregnant for a Casanova?
While the fight lasted, I stayed out of harm’s way. I went back to my Papa’s house ojare!
When the invisible referee blew the whistle, my sister came back home.
She was sporting a terrible black eye. When I mentioned it, she smiled proudly and told me that I should go and see what she did to the other babe.
Do you guys know the worst thing?
The guy had another babe stashed somewhere…the cherished one…whom he finally got married to!
Are babes’ stupid or what?
Back to telling babes to hide inside closet or under the bed.  Sorry for the digression of course.
So now, you finally show interest!
You now want to know why that guy asked me to hide under the bed.
The guy started chasing me like a dog in heat since my undergraduate days. But for reasons I don’t know, cupid arrow simply refused to bite my arse!
 No matter how much he professed his love or every little he did to prove his love, something just didn’t click in my heart for him.
Moreover, I was heartily in love with someone else. We graduated and moved on with our lives. I bumped into him one day at Ojota and it was catching up of all friends and campus life.
He asked for my home address. I gave him. He started coming to pay visits. He even asked for my hand in marriage.
But honestly, my heart still refused to dance for him. Another thing, the guy was too stingy.
Kai! I never see person wey stingy reach that guy!
He had visited me several times and most times when he asked for a return match, I always find excuses not to.
One day he asked again; I reluctantly accepted. When I arrived, the first thing that hit my sight was the picture of a lady on the top of the television.
Naturally, I asked. He said she was his own flame. He bought me a bottle of malt. I was sipping the drink, when the loud banging came.
He jumped like someone stung by a bee.
I said to myself: “Sho! Na wetin dey do this bobo?”
He started begging and forcefully started dragging me into the master’s bedroom, saying I should dive under the bed and hide.
Thunder fire am!
Why should I hide? What crime have I committed?
Of course, I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that for him, yawa don gas!
I could be very stubborn too. I said No! No hiding for me! He knelt, begging like he was begging for a good balling. You know how a guy used to beg when agro don hold him and he badly needed to plunge into his babe’s warm crevices.
While all these theatrics was going on, the volume of the banging on the door increased. I had a feeling the couple had played this scene several times. That’s how womanisers operate.
I stubbornly sat down on the cushioned settee I told you guys last week about. He finally went to open the door.
I heard: “Ayo, kinolode ti o fe shile ekwu? Iwo ati tani lowa le…”
She was asking the question and storming into the room. She sighted me. We stared coldly at each other. She came and sat gingerly beside, she had already shown that she’s the lady of the manor and the guy asking me to dive under the bed, proved she’s the chosen one.
She asked me: “Who are you?”
I replied in a huff: “What sort of question is that?”
I carried my handbag, with my head held high; I sailed out of their room, with my tattered pride dragging behind.
 To cut to the chase here; I got married, he got married. They had a baby, somehow, something happened, leading to hospital and DNA and before you know it, the baby wasn’t Ayo’s.
They parted.
The shameless idiot had the effrontery and temerity to come asking for my hand in marriage again.
Nawa O! I never see that kin thing before. He beg me like no tomorrow to leave my husband.
Keep a date with us next week
08189679439…ebere20@gmail.com

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