A
guy wrote to me, insisting it was impossible to keep balling same lady/wife for
the rest of his life.
When I read his mail, I was shocked.
We have to try and fight temptation. Anybody can be
tempted into infidelity.
There’s no way however you can’t stay or ball same guy or
babe for the rest of your life.
All one needs is discipline.
I have always told people that its never a crime to
lust after a guy/babe that is not your legal spouse. It becomes a crime when
you give in to that itch.
My friend loves her husband to nuts. You can tell
from the way she looks at him. It’s in her eyes, her smile. Yet she came to me
one day with a gloomy face.
Her face looked like a two-day fufu that had gone sour.
My heart
skipped a beat. I tried to help her relax and slowly the story came tumbling
out, howbeit, reluctantly. If Nigerian could blush, I’m sure her face would
have gone through myriad of colours.
It was in her office , a certain good looking hunk
of a guy that used to come around to ask for her boss was making her heart do
some makosa dance tricks. Anytime the guy comes, she expresses shortness of
breath, feels shy and gets all fidgety like a teenager that is hearing her first
love song from a ‘toaster.’
So what is the problem with chatting with a guy that
you find attractive?
I thought it
was a good question, but she gave me a dirty look that clearly stated I ought
to have my head examined.
Yeah, so what else is new?
All my friends know and appreciate the fact
that I
DON KOLO.
She cried woefully: “Julie, I have a man, but I keep
imagining making love with this guy. Its embarrassing! I’ve taken a a decision.
I’ll start avoiding him.”
I wanted to
laugh, but I didn’t want to make a mockery of a situation she obviously found
very trying.
I tried to tell her that there was no harm in
lusting after a guy, that is not her husband.
Personally, it simply means that you’ re alive and
your sexual hormones are active.
Look, lets face
it! Even Jesus was tempted when that jaguda called Lucifer attempted to force
him to feed on a bread that he didn’t and never asked for.
But you and I know that Baba Jesus was very hungry
at that point in time. Even at Gethsemane, the trial was too much for him that
he broke down.
But the point
in the whole story is that he didn’t back down or else I really don’t know what
would have become of the world today.
Like my friend Musa-Daddy will always say, “Carry
over in universities, is not for spirits, but students!”
Thus temptation are for you and me, we just have to
fight and crush it before we fall shakata
like Mrs. Eve of the garden of Eden.
Take me for
instance, everyday I’m sexually tempted... nay, that’s too drastic. It makes me
sound like I’m a sex pot.
Let’s try another line... Most times, I get sexually
tempted. I lust after men that are not my husband, but to the glory of God, I’ve
not yet fallen.
I strongly believe in marriage vows and feels bad
sometimes about bedeviling feelings.
But hey, I’ve past that phase of feeling guilty for
a sin I never even carried out. If I still remain steadfast and didn’t fall, I get
to proudly boast and beat my chest that
ha, I never fall even in the worst trails of sexual hunger. Don’t think I’m
rambling, I’m not.
I just want
you guys to know that you can truly keep to one sex partner.
Our parents did. Or did they?
And if in marriage
you begin to feel dissatisfied sexually, know and believe it in your heart that
it’s just a phase. A sort of bad nightmare that you’ll wake up and laugh over.
When that emotional sexual feelings comes upon you,
just visit your database of memory of your spouse. Remember the sweet times and
let the bad aspect keep mute. You can do it. We can do it. Remind yourself the
million reasons you shouldn’t cheat.
We’re all in this together.
There’s nobody who had not at one time cheated on
his spouse just through imagining sex with another person. Sex has, and will
always be at the bottom of almost all marital problems, divorce e and separation.
But just tell yourself that you’ll give the marriage the best you’ve got.
Sometimes, you have sex with another, not because
you don’t love your partner but due to uncontrollable desire for this guy/ babe.
In marriage, there’s a point or phase you both reach
and sex will become lack lustre whether your husband/ wife bang with you, doesn’t
bother you anymore.
And even you no longer bother to go through the
routine.......God, its now a routine you end up having it. Mama and Papa style.
What most people called missionary style. You've both dried up on ideas and
innovation on bedmatics.
Your sexual life has become an ordeal, rather than
pleasure. You now have sex, rather make love. You now spend less than 30
minutes for banging, when before you use to spend hour on fore-play before plunging
into the imperial act.
What went wrong? Where and when did things started disintegrating? Both of you can still
retrace your steps. Communication is the bed rock of a solid and wonderful marriage.
Don’t and never kid yourself that marriage is 24 hours rosy, it’s a lie!
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