OKADA RIDER AND THE BOOBS’ MAGIC (1)

An old piece; written in the heydays of commercial bike riders in Lagos State. I enjoyed writing it. Hope you’ll enjoy reading it.

 I wouldn’t have believed that Okada riders derive some sort of perverse pleasure from ladies’ boobs pressed…nay…rubbing against their manly backs while they’re on motorbikes.
But I heard about it.

What the heck am I even talking about?

Hell! I witnessed it myself!

 I was just at the Maza-Maza Bus stop, a stone’s throw from Mile 2, when I noticed a lady with a well-endowed milk factory.

She was about to mount one of those commercial bikes we call Okada. You know, there are times when some female endowment never ceases to amaze me. That day was one of such days.

I swear that Baba God must have had extra-buckets of milk lying fallow on the day that babe was created.

She had other Okada men at the park gawking!

 She selected a bike rider and mounted as if she didn’t know her giant boobs were causing a riot.

It was the thumbs up other bike riders were furtively giving their colleague (the lucky Okada rider she picked) and the knowing winks that made me realised that these men see boobs hitting their back as a sort of a fringe benefit!

 And just as was expected….as soon as the babe mounted the bike, the space between her boobs and the back of the guy shrunk to nothing. Even a pin couldn’t slide through…

At slightest gallop and bumps, you and I know what would happen.

I’ve also been a recipient of Okada man’s sly way of tapping current!

 In my sort of job, I honestly don’t know what I would have done without Okada. I mounted one some days back.

He was a Hausa rider.

In as much as I tried to keep my tiny egg-size boobs far away from his encroaching back, the man always seemed to want to lean back further towards me.

 And my boobs of course!

 At a point, I placed my hand and bag in between his back and my precious boobs.

When I finally stepped down at my destination, he presented me with a poker face, while I glared angrily at him.

I was too embarrassed to say the least. I wanted to upbraid him but didn’t even know how or where to start.

Should I go, " Oga, why are you pressing your back against my breasts?"

Some of these Okada men are always looking for someone to trade insults with. Believe me, you had been the loser!

Hum! I wished I was blessed with big, fat buttocks. Oh yes, they like ogling fleshy female bakassi too.

But they dread picking owners of such heavy backyards as passengers.

The weight does terrible things to the tyres of their motorbikes! Ha! Ha! Ha!

 For politeness sake, some of them would tell ‘sister fat ass,’ that the area she was heading was N100, instead of the normal N50.

 They are simply saying no to her, in a diplomatic way.

I was going for a story one day in the hot scorching sun when I saw an Okada rider having a heated quarrel with a fat lady. Her boobs appeared ready to jump out of her armpits, where some of the excess flesh had sought solace from the enslavement of her brassier.

I didn’t know how the quarrel started but I was able to gather from the rider who was almost on the verge of breaking into tears that his tyres, which he pumped that very day, suddenly went flat after the lady mounted and they had ridden for only a few minutes.

The lady of course refused to accept fault. I couldn’t understand what the hell the man was making so much noise about.

I mean, he knew what he was in for when he picked her as a passenger.

The silly man probably wanted to tap some current! Yes, quote me!

Listen sisters, if you’re on a motorbike and the rider happens to enter a pothole, don’t take it for granted. The man may deliberately entered those potholes so that you would bounce on the bike and your boobs would jump up and down like craze, slamming against his happy and expectant back.

And when they increase speed while you are on the bike, don’t be fooled into thinking they are in a hurry to get you to your destination.

Nay, he just wants to feel your boobs pressing hard against him as you clutch him tightly in fear of falling off because of the speed.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying that all Okada riders are into this nasty habit but a good number of them are simply lascivious.

Living for the thrills for the moment?

My thing is this: “If you can’t touch it, why even bother to enjoy the feel of it?"
My dear, Okada men are Ashawo! Visit any Okada park and see if the discussion does not revolve around a woman and her vital statistics.

Moreover, they have become the king in the slums. They get paid every day and think they’ve arrived. Once he gets a motorbike he can ride, babes will come crawling all over him like bee over honey.

But shoes get size ojare! Just as babes have choices.

Men and babes also have categories. I once believed that babes in fact do have categories until I saw two clean babes… kai!

They were fighting over an Okada rider in Bariga!

Can you beat that? Fighting over an Okada man of all people!

Okada men have toasted me several times.

Some of them would stupidly wave off their fare, forgetting that they still have to deliver their daily money to the owners of the motorbikes.

I remembered the day one tracked me down to my place of work. It was more galling because he happened to be dating someone who respected me very much.

His elder brother just bought him the sparkling motorbike and the fool thought Juliana Francis was the first babe he should impress.

To be continued

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