Thin line between lovemaking and sex(1)

“It’s sad but true! Hum! My wife no longer makes love with me. What we do these days is just plain sex. I yearn for those days when we were still dating…the love making was something else…it was earth shaking!”


I looked at him with great pity and empathy. That’s my friend ND. I was just short of telling him, “welcome to my world!”



Tell me, which married couple’s sex life still remains the same, I mean, ‘earth shattering after marriage?’


We can count them on our finger tips. A lot of people used to argue that sex/lovemaking is the last ingredient among condiments which a successful marriage needs.


And I used to tell such idiots that they ought to have their heads examined!  But then…hey… it’s a free world! We’re all entitled to our opinions.


As far as I’m concerned, a fantastic sex between married couples is the spice that keeps the aroma and flavour in the relationship. In the rating of 100, picking out other factors that make successful marriages, I give sex 75 per cent! And you can jolly well take that to the banks!


The first time I heard such nonsense was actually from a woman of all people. I immediately felt sorry for her husband…she’s a prude and will be a cold fish in bed. I can wager my best G-string brief on that!
Please don’t even ask me to try her out…nay; she’s a no for me!
How can a babe, with all her screws sticking to their right places, say that sex was not an important factor in making a successful marriage?
According to her, the importance of sex in marriage was overrated. God help us!


This brings me to my question for you guys: When last did any of you, guys/babes, make love with your spouse instead of having sex?


Please don’t give me that puzzled look. Yeah, I know you’d a swell time in bed yesterday…oh sorry…your correction had been noted.
He said this morning…ok…I know you had a swell time in bed this morning with your wife before you rushed off to the office, but what both of did, can you categorise it as sex or lovemaking?


That’s the problem: the line between lovemaking and sex is so thin that many of us fail to realize it.


Sex and lovemaking may appear interwoven but believe me, there’s a vast difference. Even though both engage the use of the peg in the hole method.


But the entrances…the imperial act…to the climax of the play on both sides of the divides, are different!


I just hate it when people say, manhood na manhood! Same tin ni gbogboo e jare!
Manhood is not manhood! Neither is a woman’s vagina same as the next woman’s.


There must be something unique about Janet’s that makes John pants after her like a dog in heat, even though she’s as ugly as a sin…or how can we explain why John shuns the advances of Jacky who is blessed with an angelic face and a body of mount Venus?


There must be something there!
Reason with me…
So also sex and lovemaking can’t be the same. But like I said earlier, these analysis are my opinions.
What is lovemaking?


Perhaps I should explain to you how hitting the sack used to be between ND and his wife when they were still dating.


Hear him: “I usually start to kiss her from the leg upward. I could kiss and lick her anywhere and everywhere. I so much used to enjoy making love with her. She was good in bed. She gave as much pleasure as she received. I could kiss her lips for hours. I didn’t mind the hours we spent behind closed doors. Rushing lovemaking with her was like a crime. I loved kissing her neck, earlobes…kissing her eyes shut…I could suckle her nipples hardened to pebble for eternity.
“Oh! She has such great breasts…she still does! To me back then, making love with her was me going down on her…settling my eager head between her eagerly parting and parted wet thighs.
“My tongue was always willing and ready to worship not just her body, but the innermost part of her womanhood. I “derived joy in pushing her to the limit of her endurance. I loved watching her thrash about as I held her thighs firmly, burying my head and tongue on her clitoris…foraging and making pleasurable warfare on her.
“And when she begins to jerk…God! She was so hot…so sweet! Sometimes she used to climax with tears in her eyes.
“I loved going down on her than sliding my rod into her. She used to give me the ‘baddest’ of blow jobs. We would come together and then lay side by side together, huddled together, chatting about inconsequential issues.


“But since we got married…I don’t know and can’t remember when everything changed…maybe when she got her shop and became too busy pursuing money. Maybe when the kids started coming…honestly, I don’t know…but all I know is that these days, I almost have to beg her before she allows me to suckle her below…and she doesn’t even give me blow job anymore.
“Seems to me like I will have to wait till ‘thy kingdom comes’ before she will ever give it to me. True, so many things changed after we married, but the bedroom scene is the hardest for me to accept.
“I used to love lovemaking so much. These days, anytime I want us to make love, she had rather I just blow in and blow out. Such method of copulation leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Honestly, I’m beginning to think of taking up an extra-marital affair.”
TO BE CONTINUED